The instinct to preserve one’s self comes in handy when facing a major physical threat, but it also rears its ugly head when facing a false threat, such as leaving your comfort zone. When threatened, our body signals its stress with panic, heightened emotions, or fear and anxiety. We begin to act defensively and with suspicion and, at times, full-blown paranoia. We prepare to fight, or we flee and hide.

Most of us are always trying to achieve some form of security that can never really exist. This takes many forms, such as sticking to the routine because we deem it safe (or at least predictable), or hoarding what we fear loosing (food, toilet paper, money). Our reality as humans is that we could die at any time or face unexpected obstacles that are entirely out of our control.

For many years I honestly believed that if I took great care of myself (eating just right, flossing daily and doing all of the right exercises) I would be able to avoid big health problems, rarely get sick, and age gracefully. This belief began to run through my mind whenever I talked with someone facing major health challenges. I would quickly free myself of their burden by assuming that they were somehow reaping what they sowed. Even when my brother was fighting for his life against an aggressive, terminal brain tumor, I still searched desperately for some answer on how he could heal himself. I was fighting so hard to preserve something that was entirely out of my control and understanding. If only I could pinpoint that one mistake he made (it was the excessive ice cream, that’s it!) I could at least have known how to avoid this pain in my own life. But that mistake never surfaced.

When the fear and panic surface, try to remember that you were never in control anyway. It’s like a surfer who thinks they’ll be great when they can learn to control the waves. That is impossible. Great surfers understand the wave first, then learn to ride it. And you can’t fully understand by observation alone, you have to get wet.

So keep breathing, absorb your environment and learn everything you can about the nature of your threat. It’s the fighting or hiding that makes us who we are. The most satisfying moments in life come when we face our greatest fear and realize that we were up to the challenge all along. Bloody your knuckles, if necessary, but stay in the fight. You can do it!

 
Surfer Brett Simpson in Indonesia's Mentawai Islands

Surfer Brett Simpson in Indonesia's Mentawai Islands

National Geographic has put together their list of the high adventure trips you simply MUST take.

They asked all sorts of extreme sportsmen and women and this is what they said we all have to add to our lists.

National Geographic’s Ultimate Adventure Bucket List for 2012.

How many do YOU want to do?

 

 

 

“Often we don’t even realize who we’re meant to be because we’re so busy trying to live out someone else’s ideas. But other people and their opinions hold no power in defining our destiny”

-Oprah Winfrey

 

Jon & I here at Furious Journey recently had the privilege of spending a few days with Sean Ogle of Location 180 and Molly Mahar of Stratejoy. It was three days of outrageous story telling; they’ve been everywhere and done everything (like the time Sean was caught in crossfire while buying a guitar during the Thai rebellion, or how Molly had met every influential blogger alive).

As any self-reflective soul would, I absorbed the information and looked inward to see if I would benefit from adopting their exceptional lifestyles. This has always been an intense process for me. Listening to passionate people ignites a fireball of passion in my chest, driving me drop every obligation and dedicate myself to the topic at hand (I will forever remember a presentation on astrophysics that almost laid waste to my 3 years of communications studies…)

In the end, there is a principle that keeps me in touch with reality and progressing on a steady course: the purpose of adventure is personal growth. Thus, just as I don’t need to take every medication in order to be healthy, I don’t need to have every adventure in order to become my best self. My life list is a description of how I intend to fulfill my unique potential.

In the end, it’s a relief—my prescribed adventures are is keeping me busy enough.

 

 

 
How much happiness can money actually buy?

You know how people are always saying that money can’t buy happiness? It turns out they’re wrong!

I’ve recently seen not one but two studies that reveal some important findings on what cash can deliver in terms of quality of life. It’s a compelling topic these days — not least of all because the economy is forcing lots of us to confront the question of what we really need in order to have a good life.

 The Price of Happiness

 First comes a report from Princeton University published late last year in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Using data involving 450,000 Americans from the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, the researchers analyzed the relationship between household income and each respondent’s self-reported emotional state (what the researchers call “day-to-day happiness”) as well as their overall feelings about their well-being and “satisfaction” with life.

Happiness has a price tag: The researchers learned that happiness climbed right along with income up to about $75,000 per year, after which more income didn’t predictably buy more happiness. But — here’s the interesting point — satisfaction with life overall did continue to rise right along with income beyond $75,000 per year. People who earned more… and more… felt that much better about the quality of their lives.

 It’s About Choices…

 And now we’ve just seen a second study on happiness, a meta-analysis (a study of other studies), that is quite remarkable. Social scientists from the Victoria University of Wellington in New Zealand were looking to learn whether having money or having choices in life (“autonomy”) is more important for well-being. They examined data from a huge sample (420,599 individuals from 63 countries spanning more than 30 years) — some of these people were wealthy, some poor… some living in capitalist societies, some socialist… some in developed nations and others in countries that can still be classified as “third-world.”

Result: Regardless of where respondents lived, they tended to report greater well-being if they felt that they had autonomy. And if money bought the ability to make more and better choices — as it does here in the US, for instance — it did indeed buy happiness. In situations where money did not correlate with autonomy — you guessed it — no correlation with happiness or a better life.

 What’s New?

James Maddux, PhD, a psychology professor at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia, says that the real surprise is in the second study, that showed that across cultures, happiness depended upon having autonomy… no matter what their background, humans want to have the chance at independent accomplishment.

Dr. Maddux explained that “in broad strokes, previous research has demonstrated that in Western cultures, like those in the US, Canada and Europe, autonomy and individualism correlated with happiness, but not so in traditional Eastern cultures (such as Japan, China and India), where identity is collectivist, rooted less in personal identity than in what the group — your family, your community, your employer — has accomplished.”

Beyond that, said Dr. Maddux, the body of research studying the link between income and satisfaction with life has yielded some wisdom that is generalizable (and, frankly, familiar) to most people trying to find the correct balance between money and satisfaction in life…

There’s nothing magic about $75,000. The real point of that study, Dr. Maddux explained, is that it reinforces that being poor is no picnic. “It is important to have enough income to meet your basic needs,” he said. Cost of living varies greatly depending on many variables — where you live, how you are accustomed to living, whether you live alone or with a spouse or family, etc., so $75,000 represented a kind of a rough marker in the study.

After your needs are met, money counts for less. Once you’ve reached the point where you are comfortably able to pay your bills, earning more will make you happier… just not as much as you might guess. Dr. Maddux said that “additional income buys additional happiness to a point… then a bit more money buys a bit more happiness… and so on… but for everyone, there comes a point when extra money isn’t really going to add anything to your life at all.”

Personal development matters. Using money to expand your knowledge and understanding (for instance, putting your dollars toward travel, education, the pursuit of special interests or donating money to philanthropy) increases happiness, Dr. Maddux noted.

Possessions can make you less happy. In contrast, “the body of research suggests that if you want additional money so you can buy stuff — like cars, clothes and jewelry — with the goal of impressing or keeping up with others, these pursuits will actually diminish your happiness,” Dr. Maddux said, adding that “research shows that the pursuit of ’bling’ contributes to unhappiness because people probably are pursuing material goods at the expense of self-development and relationships.”

Personally, I am not surprised by these findings — they are entirely consistent with what I believe about every aspect of life. Having the opportunity to function as an individual, free to work hard and to be rewarded for it — emotionally and financially — leads to great satisfaction. There is no better feeling than the feeling of accomplishment.

 

 

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to appreciate someone else’s story, yet how hard it can be to appreciate your own?

I recently emigrated from Utah to Minnesota because there are certain benefits to living in the same state as one’s boyfriend. Included in the package was spending more time with his family—an amazing family of entrepreneurs who are just as serious about fun as they are about personal responsibility. They’re awesome, but I’ve had a bit of culture shock in terms of communication styles—whereas my family puts a premium on respect and gentleness, arguing is a valid form of communication in the Wagner household. I’ve never suspected any malice on their part, but as a peace-lover, it’s been a rough transition.

Then, this morning as I ate breakfast, I listened to a BBC radio story about a New York family whose oldest son and brother was killed on 9/11. I was fascinated by the foreign but flavorful in-your-face way the family talked to each other. Their words conveyed extra energy because of their slapstick nature. Every sentence commanded full attention.

I’m sure you see the parallel (probably faster than I did).

I’m now empowered by that experience to interact with and appreciate the Wagner family on their own terms. The story taught me how.

In that same way, it’s important to listen to others as they overcome obstacles and live deliberately. Observing the phenomenon from the outside will help you appreciate it—perhaps even recognize it—when you’re on the inside of the story.

Whose story inspires you the most? What blogs do you follow?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
© 2012 Life: A Furious Journey Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha